happy?

happy... what does that mean...

honestly.. i got out of bed at 8pm today.. what does that say about me. i didnt go to any of my classes.. ignored my phone calls..

(i actually buried my head in the pillows to hide from the noise)

what does that say about me.. i have taken my meds.. but are they working.. hoenstly

do i really feel any different.. 

there is soo much to do and so little time but i refuse to take the time to do it. honestly i lounge around and do nothing.. mayb that is why im having trouble in class. the only thing i really dont lounge around and do is with soundcheck. i always make sure that is good...

god damnit.. i am soo sick of two faced people. the bands that came up were soo sweet and nice. but my whole crew seemed to hate them. they were like yea they were fake and didnt know anything. their music sounded like crap.. gahh.. 

bella just ran off with my garnola bar...

honestly.. some of my crew stayed and talked to the bands afterwards. and when the bands left.. were soo backtalking them. its stupid.. honestly. if you thought they sucked then dont talk to them afterwards and sound so intresed in what they are saying seriously.

on another note.. i want something physical. im so tired of trying to stand on my own. i want hugs. i want to feel them. even if they dont mean something to the guy i want a nice hug. one where the guy wraps his arms around me and squeezes if only for a second. none of these fake ones that i keep getting. seriously.

humans are the most insecure stupid beings on this planet.. i would come up with more, but i cant.. annoying. there.. there are people outside in my hall yelling.. its pointless. come together and talk honestly dont yell across the hall.. seriously its stupid.. and then there are those inconsiderate dirvers that belong to berry college campus.. those stupid students.. omg they are retarted..  honking their horns.. just to get ppls attention.. yell out the damn window insted of scaring the shit outt ame with your retarted train horn.. on your fucking car.. also those students who feel that it is pertinate to honk the horn to get a friend to come out at like 2 in the fucking morning.. fuck off.. seriously. some people sleep. i will give you a little bit of a leway if it is friday or sat.. but otherwise piss of. we have fuking school.especially on like a tuesday night.. fuck off....