Summer

Summer is totally here. and my birthday is arriving fast. i really dont know what to think. i am working an internship at Crack Gorilla Productions from like 10 in the morning till like 4 in the afternoon. I could work later, but i need to get another job which sucks. i need money. Unfortunatly this internship doesn't pay shit. it sucks. but i am learning alot and everyone seems really cool..

i just got done editing a wedding, and when i get married i hope the ceremony isn't as long. i mean damn. i really dont know what i should be doing right now. caues i dont want to screw anything up on the wedding and we have to do it all over again.

new boy on the front. he's really cool but i think i like him just as a friend. there were no sparks or anythng when we kissed. it was just lustful. i want to like him i do. he's kind sweet, and willing to take care of me. but i think the biggest problem with this is that i don't think im worth any of it. I am not worth a good guy who will take care of me. my self esteem is compltely in the gutter. i wish it was more. i think this is why rain exisits, becaues she can act like she has self esteem enough for me and for her. its a little odd talking abut another personaltiy that you came up with. i really dont know what to do honestly.

i'm gonna open up to to him. i'm gonna tell him what im feeling, and how im very insecure with myself.